One Month and Counting.
(Thanking God for an unexpected snow day to allow me time to update the blog and finish this post.)
I've been wanting to write for some time now. The last month has been a mixture of a whirlwind (whoever said it calms down right after the wedding is crazy!) and a tad bit of avoidance of the blog on my part. I'm afraid my words won't do justice in describing the most monumental occasion of my life. I want to remember everything, but details have already started to fade....I'm so excited to see our video and pictures soon. I know they will capture moments I want to cherish.
When I think back to our wedding day, just over a month ago, it was every bit the joy, happiness, and peace I imagined. It was also every bit the blur my friends had described. I would love to write about the reception, but after we cut the cake I'm not sure I remember much else! I do remember all of the toasts were both funny and beautiful. (Well, I'm not sure how to summarize Rob's viking toast, so let's stick with funny ;)) Even though I never made it to the cake I heard it was delicious. I'm grateful we had a receiving line, because mingling at the reception is a lot harder than it sounds. There are so many people I wanted to thank and say 'hello' to. I don't remember the food or music, but neither is important anyway. The best way I could describe the feeling that night would be to compare it to an out of body experience. The whole night I literally repeated to myself, "This is real, this is real." I cannot thank our parents enough for providing this night for us.
If summing up the reception in words was hard, I hardly want to attempt with the Mass. I shocked myself by holding it together, perhaps I thought I had to be the strong one because my groom was having a hard time. :) I think I was feeling so many emotions that I couldn't show just one. I will never forget taking my dad's hand before we walked down the aisle and whispering 'I love you'. I will never forget how it felt like Chaz was the only one in the room when we walked down the aisle. Father Holdren's homily is still burned in my memory as the best homily on love and marriage I have ever heard. He could not have possible known that even the smallest details in his homily were so meaningful to Chaz and I. He compared the sacrafice of marriage to the Passion of Jesus in the Agony in the Garden. This is Chaz's favorite chapter in the bible and was thisclose to being our Gospel reading. So beautiful. I will never forget Father quoting Tobit, our first reading, "Your marriage has been decided in Heaven." I've read Tobit many times, how had I looked over this verse until then? Again, so beautiful. The choir, the music, the Priests, our friends and family standing behind us...I have special memories attached to each one. And how can I summarize the feeling right after our vows, when I am finally united to my husband? A peaceful joy might be the only way. The peace of knowing you have found your vocation and are doing God's will. I am so grateful for peace. It's a funny thing to search for peace. It's frustrating and active, but then all of a sudden peace is there and you might not even realize it, you just realize you're not searching anymore. Chaz is the reason for that peace and I pray it remains with us always.
I've been wanting to write for some time now. The last month has been a mixture of a whirlwind (whoever said it calms down right after the wedding is crazy!) and a tad bit of avoidance of the blog on my part. I'm afraid my words won't do justice in describing the most monumental occasion of my life. I want to remember everything, but details have already started to fade....I'm so excited to see our video and pictures soon. I know they will capture moments I want to cherish.
When I think back to our wedding day, just over a month ago, it was every bit the joy, happiness, and peace I imagined. It was also every bit the blur my friends had described. I would love to write about the reception, but after we cut the cake I'm not sure I remember much else! I do remember all of the toasts were both funny and beautiful. (Well, I'm not sure how to summarize Rob's viking toast, so let's stick with funny ;)) Even though I never made it to the cake I heard it was delicious. I'm grateful we had a receiving line, because mingling at the reception is a lot harder than it sounds. There are so many people I wanted to thank and say 'hello' to. I don't remember the food or music, but neither is important anyway. The best way I could describe the feeling that night would be to compare it to an out of body experience. The whole night I literally repeated to myself, "This is real, this is real." I cannot thank our parents enough for providing this night for us.
If summing up the reception in words was hard, I hardly want to attempt with the Mass. I shocked myself by holding it together, perhaps I thought I had to be the strong one because my groom was having a hard time. :) I think I was feeling so many emotions that I couldn't show just one. I will never forget taking my dad's hand before we walked down the aisle and whispering 'I love you'. I will never forget how it felt like Chaz was the only one in the room when we walked down the aisle. Father Holdren's homily is still burned in my memory as the best homily on love and marriage I have ever heard. He could not have possible known that even the smallest details in his homily were so meaningful to Chaz and I. He compared the sacrafice of marriage to the Passion of Jesus in the Agony in the Garden. This is Chaz's favorite chapter in the bible and was thisclose to being our Gospel reading. So beautiful. I will never forget Father quoting Tobit, our first reading, "Your marriage has been decided in Heaven." I've read Tobit many times, how had I looked over this verse until then? Again, so beautiful. The choir, the music, the Priests, our friends and family standing behind us...I have special memories attached to each one. And how can I summarize the feeling right after our vows, when I am finally united to my husband? A peaceful joy might be the only way. The peace of knowing you have found your vocation and are doing God's will. I am so grateful for peace. It's a funny thing to search for peace. It's frustrating and active, but then all of a sudden peace is there and you might not even realize it, you just realize you're not searching anymore. Chaz is the reason for that peace and I pray it remains with us always.
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